Obesity couldn’t be any easier or more logical to overcome, its remedy stunningly simple and obvious. Yet we don’t. Why does it remain one of our most challenging issues? Many women fight this battle but in circles, only at a superficial level.
The answer is indeed there, to lose weight don’t eat as much, yet we continue to grow further from the slim figure we desire. We’re not without motivation, especially if we consider sex a motivator.
(Some women would fare better and get more out of the literature if they thought of themselves as taking a male approach to sex i.e. they often lead the sexual encounter, retreating from the receiver role familiar to most women, want a lot of sex, with whom doesn’t matter, too little sex plays out in destructive ways. (Here we return to female, we are not externally violent, only hurting and destructive to ourselves, violence no one can see, that sort of thing.))
So, it’s not that overweight women are unmotivated, but that all they are considering is their motivation and goal. They know what they want, and they think they know why they’re not doing it, i.e. lack of motivation, a first bite set them off, but they’re ignoring the rest of it.
If their motivation couldn’t be any higher, the answer any clearer, and they’re fully aware of how hard and painful it is to live looking ugly and ashamed, what is counterbalancing?
Based on her past failures the lack of trust the woman has in her ability to be who she is and longs to be couldn’t be anymore lacking. She has absolutely no trust that she can be herself and do her well. The ultimate failure (but as with many fears it only feels that way until you go there and it’s not as scary as you presumed).
There lies a critical point of awareness. The moment at which everything stops in light of the realisation that you are not who you were and you are not who you are, who you are living as, the cry of “I’m not this woman”. Theoretically, you could now grab hold of you in this moment and move closer freely and with insight. But it doesn’t happen.
Remember these three points:
- Constantly replaying a damaging script in your mind increases your suffering, dissolve it.
- You are aware and conscious and have survived difficult circumstances.
- You are resilient.
Creating you is scary. Who you’re being, with her familiar daily rerun of hopelessness, fantasy, and dysfunctional thoughts, behaviours, emotions, and relationships is secure. Even damaging or limiting, it’s still known, therefore comforting.
It’s why change is so hard. We are continually attracted to what is familiar, not what’s good for us, which is why security is an illusion. You must trust yourself to be the person you are or you’ll forever fight not to become her, the ultimate fail. Fat is clear, tangible, visual proof that you’re not failing as you because you aren’t her. Trust yourself.