We know when we’re not okay but the flaws you see in yourself is a fraction of everything going on. You can’t make what is inherently wrong about you right. We all lack something and wish for ability, but they don’t have the reach you think.
Consider the enormity of your situation. Even thinking about starting toward a change chokes immediately. How can you expect to overcome everything? What you can’t do has had you cornered a long time, proven block.
Who you are — not the persona you created — has no voice in ‘your’ life. She’s an unknown, and therefore powerless. Deep down you know this because you feel it as your greatest pain, a loss so great it feels like death.
You’ve been desperate to know and reach her and she has been waiting for you. You have heard her, she speaks to you doesn’t she, you are intuitive and emotional. Likely you’ve felt urges no before, but didn’t stop. You chose not to, usually due to lack of confidence and judgement, and that relentless need for feeling. You need to now, and always. She is the one that will lead you and relieve your torment.
In attempting to overcome your mess, you’ve been trying to find who you are by making your false self and life you. You’ve confused the two. You’re trying to make your life right but focusing on the wrong one, the life of your false self. In effect, you’re manufacturing her back to you. Pure, wrong metamorphosis. They are different; you can never make a life out of somebody else’s. Who you are has her own life.
You are living the results of an inauthentic existence: poor social reputation, economic exclusion, repeated setbacks, anxiety, addictive tendencies, malignant relationships. These go beyond drifting and deficiencies.
The way through is the exit. You leave it all, because individually, not one is the cause. If it feels too overwhelming to fix all your problems that’s a clue that there’s another, better way. Those problems are just symptoms. If you chase them down your core issue remains and will present as another, different form.
Go inward to address the problem. Your answers are always within, meaning you already have them. You can tackle every problem, challenge, disadvantage, or condition, by being who you are. The only barrier is the additional you, the persona that acts as a psychic interface.
Success has two requirements. The first is realising that you’re not being who you are. The second is then having conviction in her. You’ve withstood much, so you can trust yourself and that you are capable. You’re more than ready. Through your struggling, confusion, uncertainty, poor decisions, this is what you’ve been seeking your whole life.
Ideally, you’re aware of your capabilities and strengths and have an idea of how you can leverage them. Know that you’re missing out on significant parts of life and that you deserve better.
Doubt the veracity of the conventional approach.